a) play poohsticks on the seine*
b) have an affair with an older, married politician**
c) smoke an entire pack of cigarettes while drinking an espresso in a dive café***
d) go to Queen - not on ladies night****
e) go on a date with an actual Frenchman, not a Tunisian or a Brit**
f) bake a successful soufflé
* while watching carefully for traffic
** sorry, Harry, but it won't mean anything
*** i keed, i keed.
**** i.e. the gay club
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